Six Sigma is a waste!!!

[Mr. Pebble]

Six Sigma is taking American Industry down the drain faster than you can say "Let's go bankrupt."

Since our educational system started to collapse in the late 60's, we have been turning out successive generations of empty diplomaheads who have now worked their way to the top of Corporate Americe and occupy every level going up the ladder. The worst went on to academia and now create Academic gobbledegook that lets a company cover up its incompetence and inability to function.

The worst is Six Sigma and all of the other offshoots that try to suck money out of a business in return for a sense of feel good. You can become a "Black Belt" almost anywhere on line by paying six thousand dollars and enduring a few weeks of claptrap, eventually coming out with nothing other than the ability to generate paperwork. As the joke goes: "We fixed the problem six months ago and are waitung on the Six Sigma report before we turn on the machine again."

The only thing worse than the internet vendors trying to sell phony Viagara to the masses is the Six Sigma hucksters who sucker corporate executives into trading in any hope of competence for a chance to drown themselves in idiotic academic junk. If you don't believe me, try doing a search of Six Sigma and then bring up the Six Sigma Dictionary and read all of that crap, constantly upgraded by MBA wannabe's going throgh the motions as they earn their empty diplomas.

And, by the way, you can earn your own empty MBA on the internet in only a few months by sending a lot of money to any one of hundreds of colleges trying to pad their bank accounts. Just ignore the FedEx commercials that make fun of MBA's by implying that they need help affixing a stamp to an envelope. And, don't count on your engineers. CNBC reports that the average graduate engineer has less knowledge than a trade school graduate of thirty years ago.

As you drown your heads in Six Sigma paperworkk, all of your capital equipment is heading for the dock to be shipped to Mexico and China and your intellectual section is headed for Bangalore. In ten years, the only jobs we will have available will be between midnight and 6 AM, taking emails from India.

It's time we dump Six Sigma, roll up our sleves and go to work. First, fix our educational system and then get some leadership into corporate America so we can function again. The Japanese are not perfect, they are only better than we are and we need to put down our remote controls and get moving.

Takr That!!! you Six Sigma believers!!!

[mchastek]

Wow - interesting comments!! Some days I tend to agree with you, and others I don't. I have a lot of confidence in the US, and while there maybe be some corporations flying by the seat of their pants, there are others that are genuinely adding value to our country.

From your profile it looks like you're an Economics Professor. Funny that you have such little believe in academia! I have a BA in Economics among other degrees, and I'd say Economics was the least useful for me, personally. Sure, anyone can get a degree online, but it'll only be worth whatever they put into it. I'm sure an employer would see right through the online degree on a resume, as well.

What're your suggestions for fixing academia and corporate America?

Great post - and welcome to the forum!

[Mr. Pebble]

I just finished a paper on General Motors, giving suggestions on how to keep them out of Chapter 11 and return to prosperity. It was over 24,000 words plus spreadsheets. Sadly, it was met with arrogance and indifference. I have outlined five examples of horrible waste in the Lansing, Michigan area and have invited someone, anyone to come up and look at them. Not one person has even responded. The paper was forwarded to Rick Wagoners office but I doubt if anyone bothered to read it.

One example is such a total waste and they spent, probably, a quarter million dollars on the automation. It would cost them a lot less than that if they just did it in-plant with no automation. Incredibly, the operation, if applied to another operation in the auto industry could save them over a billion dollars per year. It will never happen and they are too lacking in vision to ever find it.

One suggestion was to stop beating up on Tier suppliers and give them some leadership training. A few days ago, GM announced that they are going to beat up ever more on these firms as they go bankrupt and withdraw from the market. GM doesn't have the leadership depth either but my paper outlines plans including resurrecting GMI and training their own leaders, engineers and designers.

I also led the charge to get Toyota to come to Lansing and buy up the GM facilities. I wrote them and told them that they could produce vehicles here for $1,000 less than anywhere else in the U.S. and Canada. There was no response from Toyota and all the community can do is sit around and complain about the jobs going away. Yesterday, someone from Economic Development said at a forum that the jobs will go away until the UAW goes away. No mention of the leadership vacuum.

I can usually go into almost any plant, Six Sigma or not, and save them $1 million for every 100 workers per year. No takers. I even offered the deal to TRW if they would keep two Michigan plants open. No response. One Tier supplier is so horribly inefficient (and Six Sigma rich) that I offered to take half my consulting fees in stock. They never answered and are now in bankruptcy.

This week, GM is trying to borrow $15 Billion at an average 6% to cover bonds expiring this month, many paying under 2%. I do stand-up comedy and my GM joke is that GM is not shooting itself continuously in the foot only because their aim is terrible.

As far as the educational system, that is a long story and something I have also been working on. Students are coming into my class barely literate with no manners and half can't subtract nine from sixteen without their calculator. I wrote tutorials for 3rd grade multiplication and took them to the magnet school for math scholars and was told to take it to the fifth grade because they can't do third grade math either. I have written many plans for the educational system but keep in mind, as executives in industry are not paid for performance, neither are teachers. By the way, the worst literacy rate at our colleges is in the Schools of Education.

If you would like a copy of the GM report, you are welcome to it as GM is obviously not interested. Part of it is a job description taken from the internet for an assistant plant manager for a stamping company in Michigan. It was written by the Six Sigma clown there and is a classic example of how bad Six Sigma is. I offered a copy of my report to the company president but he did not reply.

Soon, I will be giving my famous lecture on foreign trade. It is like nothing you have ever heard and explains everything including the relationship of deficits, inflation, the educational system and other things to the trade imbalance. One of the quips on TV today said that our parents used to scold us if we didn't clean our plates because there were children starving in China. Now, the children are grown up and want our jobs. You are welcome to come and sit in on the lecture. It is a real eye-opener. The GM, UAW, the media and the Legislators have been invited but none ever show up.

What I'm saying is that we have to stop making excuses for failure in this country and start kicking ass. We are only maintianing a declining standard of living by borrowing against future generations. The real government deficit last year was over $2 Trillion. If we return to the old work ethic, the Japanese will return to second place, good as they are.

Have a nice day.

[Mr. Pebble]

Update!!

You can get a Green Belt for about $1,500 if you look around. That's the belt where everyone laughs at you. For a Black Belt, you can get a cheapie for only $6,000 but if you really want to squander good money on nothing, there are a few empty certificates for about $15,000.

You can go on for a Master Black Belt and Lean Belt. People who lack courage and are deeply weak of mind will, no doubt, jump all over these new programs, unwilling to admit a mistake and to proud to cut their losses, they will pile up these new achievement facades and will be held in some level of awe until they have to make an intelligent decision and the roof falls in.

I can direct you toward these hucksters if you will send an email and ask for the "Dumb Cluck Paper."

Mr. Pebble

Epilogue - As if the above wasn't bad, this company is now advertising for a shift supervisor, you do not have to deliver a quality product on time and a a reasonable cost but, no doubt, need to be an expert at paperwork and puff. Apply now.

Preferred Competencies: SMED, Standardized Work, 5S, Performance Management, 5 WHY, Theory of Constraints, Waste Reduction. Preferred Traits: Self-discipline, Lifelong learner, Team Player, Flexible, Dependable, Effective communicator, Responsible/accountable, Self-leadership. Post-secondary education in business or management and 1-2 years of supervisory experience in automotive manufacturing or 3-4 years of supervisory in automotive manufacturing industry (preferably Metalforming/Stamping Operations).

I rest my case again.

[Mr. Pebble]

In case you have not come to the conclusion that the perpetrators of Six Sigma are complete and total dimwits who can't walk and chew gun but can spell big words, probably with the help of spell check, read the following job description posted on the Michigan Talent Bank. This was no doubt written by the person who is taking the organization down the drain with his MAOM (Master of Arts in Organizational Management). If you have a lot of empty diplomas, are a total idiot with no future but can intimidate people (expecially dimwit executives) with mountains of crud and crapola, then this is the job for you.

Through inbreeding and corporate Kanban Flimflam, they seek the following:

Progressive automotive parts manufacturer seeks Assistant Plant Manager (coach and change agent) for its Manufacturing facility in Academia Nut, MI. (Real City deleted)

Responsible for achieving plant outcome measures through approximately 100 team members (Safety, Quality, Budgetary, Delivery, and Continuous Improvement, Waste Reduction, Scrap, Organization & Cleanliness, training and development) and successfully leading large-scale change interventions.

Must have and be able to demonstrate advanced knowledge (subject matter expert) as well as successful application/systems implementation of Standardized work, SMED, Visual Factory Management, Waste Elimination, 5S, PDCA or similar methodology, Problem Solving skills, Change Management.

Must have and be able to demonstrate intermediate knowledge and application of Pull Systems and Kanban, APQP, TPM, Six Sigma or core quality tools (e.g., Process Mapping, Descriptive Statistics, MSA, FMEA, SPC, Pareto and Run charts, etc.) OEE, Kaizen, Policy Deployment.

Must have basic conceptual understanding of Behavior Modification, Performance Management, Theory of Constraints, Value Stream Mapping, Force Field Analysis

Must have and be able to demonstrate consistent practice and commitment to the following behaviors: Team work, Self Discipline, Data-driven analysis and decision making, Accountability, Lifelong Learning and Self-Development, Continuous Improvement, Empathy, Flexibility, Dependability, and Strong presence on shop floor (go and see behavior).

Minimum requirement of Bachelors degree in Business/Operations Management, Quality, or Engineering and 2 years experience managing large scale automotive manufacturing operations (Tier 1 or OEM preferred). Prefer Masters Degree and 3-4 years experience.

Interested and qualified applicants must send resume as well as a cover letter briefly identifying qualifications (need both to be considered). Please do not reply if you do not meet the above criteria.


I rest my case!!!

[CGBBRITISH]

I agree. I was on a team that started up a Six Sigma department and ever since it began we have had layoff after layoff. Not that some weren't warranted but there is a limit. But the corporate executives don't see it that way, all they see is the bottom line and how good we can look!! Now I'm all for gaining $$ for your investors, but lets do it the American way, hard work with low unemployment. I too get tired of talking to the customer service in India. It is ridiculous how we sacrifice American jobs for those around the world!