mchastek
06-29-2005, 02:33 PM
This was written by Eric Noble, President of the CarLab in Orange, CA. I thought it was interesting. I hope everyone in the automotive industry thinks the same!
Had seen the "Hell Freezes" theory (read it first) in the original message below once before. A nice, initial run at the problem.
The author of the theory, however, fails to consider Hell's restrictor plate, which is Purgatory. Nor does he take into account the existence of the River Styx, which is essentially an air-to-water intercooler.
The restrictor plate would limit the growth in flow rate to Hell, while the charge cooling system would allow, even with greater density, a relatively lower temperature of souls being drawn into Hell; both forestalling ultimate detonation.
At some point, though, the ever-increasing charge density - bound to happen under the author's defensible rationale that input to Hell increases exponentially - is still likely to cause detonation or even hydraulic-ing. Alternatively, the burgeoning intake charge will climb back up into the plenum or even above the intake tract as a classic "charge stalling" in which fully combustible particles hover outside the entrance to the fire below, endangering all above. We may find explanation for temblors, tsunamis and suicide bombers, respectively, in these three phenomena. In all cases, Hell is a blown engine.
eric noble
president
the CarLab
-----Original Message-----
From:
Subject: Funny story....
The following is supposedly an actual bonus question given on a University of Florida chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
The bonus question was:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven...thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A "!
Had seen the "Hell Freezes" theory (read it first) in the original message below once before. A nice, initial run at the problem.
The author of the theory, however, fails to consider Hell's restrictor plate, which is Purgatory. Nor does he take into account the existence of the River Styx, which is essentially an air-to-water intercooler.
The restrictor plate would limit the growth in flow rate to Hell, while the charge cooling system would allow, even with greater density, a relatively lower temperature of souls being drawn into Hell; both forestalling ultimate detonation.
At some point, though, the ever-increasing charge density - bound to happen under the author's defensible rationale that input to Hell increases exponentially - is still likely to cause detonation or even hydraulic-ing. Alternatively, the burgeoning intake charge will climb back up into the plenum or even above the intake tract as a classic "charge stalling" in which fully combustible particles hover outside the entrance to the fire below, endangering all above. We may find explanation for temblors, tsunamis and suicide bombers, respectively, in these three phenomena. In all cases, Hell is a blown engine.
eric noble
president
the CarLab
-----Original Message-----
From:
Subject: Funny story....
The following is supposedly an actual bonus question given on a University of Florida chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
The bonus question was:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven...thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A "!